


Without You Here

by smugden



Category: TVD - Fandom, The Vampire Diaries (TV), Vampire Diaries
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-19
Updated: 2015-01-19
Packaged: 2018-03-08 06:36:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3199145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smugden/pseuds/smugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in S1 around 1x13 - Damon's missing Katherine. A lot. Damon/Katherine</p>
            </blockquote>





	Without You Here

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own anything

" _There's no world without her_ _._ _"_

 

**\- Damon Salvatore about Katherine Pierce**

**_._ **

**_._ **

_Damon's baby blue eyes fluttered open, and he turned around onto his back, groaning as the consequences of the drinking binge he went on the night before began to take it's toll on his body. He rubbed his eyes then sat up against the headboard, the sheet falling at his waist. Opening his eyes again, he looked around his bedroom as a sound, not loud enough for a human to hear, hit his ears and he narrowed his eyes, trying to remember if he had taken home a girl the night before. The sound of feet moving around in the bathroom across from his bed happened again and he moaned, not in the mood to kick out another girl. It never ended well, they would always try and stay behind, some insisting that they had something special, while others just plain annoyed him, that's why he normally left it to his baby brother._

_He lay back down, eyes shutting and called out,"I think it's time for you to go home now, sweetheart."_

" _...and here was me thinking that my Damon was still a gentleman."_

_His eyes shot open at the familiar voice that had stayed with him all those years. The mattress dipped and a body crawled up his bed and settled next to him. Fingers wound themselves in his dark hair, while their other hand caressed his cheek, soothing his headache away almost instantly. A familiar scent hit him full force and he shook his head, mentally telling himself that this wasn't happening, that he was mistaken. Damon swallowed when chocolate brown eyes met his and he let out a shaky breath, those orbs had been haunting him for decades. He felt his body arch into hers as she moved closer to him, and his mind began to spin, not sure if he was wrong or not._

" _Katherine? Is It really you?"_

_She smiled down at him,"Who else would it be?"_

" _Tomb. The tomb, why are y-"_

_She hushed him, brushing his dark locks from his forehead, and let her head rest on his shoulder. He turned onto his side, eyes trailing over her face, and a slow smile spread onto his face. It was Katherine. Her neat curls bounced with every move she made, and her lips were curled into a small smirk, one that always held so much mystery. He reached up and toyed with her silky hair, twirling the long stands around his index finger. She watched him silently before Katherine grabbed the hand and placed it on her cheek, her smile re-appearing when he looked up at her in amazement, as if he couldn't believe that he was touching her. She moved closer to him, eyes gazing into his, her lips hovering over Damon's. His eyes fluttered and she laughed softly, tilting her head._

" _I missed you, Damon."_

_He nodded, silently telling her that he felt the same. His other hand gripped her so tight that he was sure that if she had been human, her bones would have snapped. She nuzzled his hand with her cheek, amusement dancing in her eyes as they gazed into his. Damon tilted his head, his lips moving over hers as he held her against him._

" _Aren't you going to kiss me? I have to go soon."_

_The happiness in his eyes disappeared, and he narrowed his them, confused,"Go away? Where?"_

_She didn't answer him. Instead, Katherine leaned forward and pressed their lips together._

* * *

" **DAMON! WAKE UP!"**

Stefan huffed and slapped his brother on the head, then a few seconds later Damon's body shot up. He looked around, wondering what had pulled him from the incredible moment he was having. He swallowed, seeming startled for a second before his eyes landed on his younger brother, who was glaring down at him. Damon slumped back against the arm of the sofa, his eyes looking down at the floor and his shocked expression turned to one of tiredness when he realized that he had been dreaming, that Katherine wasn't with him. He ignored Stefan as he went off on a rant, telling him that he had been trying to wake up his brother for a while. He groaned as a real hangover began to haunt him, and when he moved to get comfortable, several empty bottles of Bourbon fell off the couch and onto the floor.

"...have you seen the mess you left? Do you have any idea how much work it is sending your girls home after you pass out...well the ones that are still living, of course."

Damon, angry at himself for feeling this way, pushed down his emotions and stood up on shaky legs. He stumbled, still feeling the effects of the alcohol, and kicked the bottles out of his way. Stefan shook his head when his brother placed his hands on his shoulders, a dark look in his eyes. The raven haired vampire smirked at him, showing him once again that nothing mattered to him, that he didn't care about anyone but himself, and Stefan swallowed.

"Then, my brother, we'll get a maid."

Without waiting for a reply, Damon backed away and walked out of the front room, stepping over the dead body of a girl he had killed the night before. He took one glance at her, and for a split second, she looked exactly like Katherine. But when he blinked, the resemblance had gone, and Damon shook his head, feeling like he had gone crazy. Stefan attempted to call after him, but his brother waved him off, grabbing his leather jacket off of the staircase that he had thrown on the bottom step, and then his car keys. He then made his way out of the boarding house, storming over to his car. He wanted so desperately to leave the town, everywhere he turned, he saw a ghost, or relived a bad memory. The only reason he had come back was to get into that tomb, and the days were beginning to get longer as each one came. He couldn't wait to get into it, but he had to, it was for her.

He'd do anything for her, and if waiting was something he had to do, Damon would.

Damon sped down the street, the fresh air hitting his face, making him feel a little better. But the dream he had was still playing over and over in his mind. It had felt so real, different from all the other dreams he had of Katherine. Every night since she had been taken away from him, he had dreamed of her, but for the past few weeks, the ones he was having seemed like they were happening, like they were a reality. It had shaken him, and whatever he did, he couldn't get rid of the thoughts. Damon growled and gripped the steering wheel, needing another drink. His headache was gone, and all he wanted was to drown in his sorrows again, he needed to forget his situation, just for a while.

He missed her, there was no doubt about that. For so long he'd been without her touch, her words, her kiss and her love. He'd tried to forget about her, but no matter what he did, which girl he focused on, none of them lived up to Katherine. None of them had that spark she had, they just couldn't get him to feel for them what he felt for her. She'd been the only girl he loved, and deep down, he knew that she'd be the only girl he would ever love. She challenged him, she made him think and showed him things he'd never seen before.

 _You've got forever, Damon...a few weeks isn't anything. Just a few weeks_ _longer, you'll get in the tomb_ _and you'll have forever with her._ He thought to himself.

He spoke mentally to himself, trying to calm himself down and that's when he pulled up at the Grill. Clearing his throat, Damon put his keys into his pocket and stepped out of the car then walked into the bar. He pushed at the swinging doors, and made his way through the groups of people, shoving at a few that got in his way. He wasn't in the mood to be messed with, and he also didn't want to deal with teenagers. Sitting on the stool, Damon ordered his usual, and as he turned around to pick a meal that would go home with him later that night, his eyes landed on a familiar brunette. He chuckled to himself darkly, wanting to scream and break everything, cursing his luck.

_Great, just what I need. Why me?_

He cringed when Elena's laughter echoed in his ears, before she replied to whatever Caroline said. He groaned, the sound reminding him of nails on a chalkboard. Though they looked the same, the two were completely different. Katherine was passionate, she was adventurous, and always had him guessing. Elena was plain, judgmental and in his mind, was the definition of a hypocrite. Damon downed his glass and ordered another, along with the bottle. As he did, his head began to fill with negative thoughts again, thoughts that he just couldn't shake. The more he heard Elena talk, the more he felt himself becoming unstable. It was hard enough seeing her, seeing the face that he had yearned for. She was a constant reminder of what he had been missing, what he had lost so many years ago.

He screwed his eyes shut and clenched his fists, when he heard the sound of feet making their way over to him,"Damon. Are you okay?"

"Fine. Just peachy."

"You don't look it. Do you want me to call Stefan?"

Her worried tone made him chuckle. He was a vampire, and was sure that she forgot that sometimes. He turned to her, blue eyes trailing over her face. For a few seconds, he calmed because just for a while, he could pretend that she was Katherine. But as soon as she opened her mouth and talked to him, it would break the daze. They were the complete opposite, the two moved and spoke completely different too. Katherine talked and moved with confidence, he adored that about her, but Elena moved like she always had a dark cloud over her. He blinked when Elena called out his name again, eyes narrowing.

"Damon?"

" _ **Damon? Will you love me forever?"**_

_**Katherine glanced up at him, and for the first time since he had known her, vulnerability flashed in her dark eyes. She looked self conscious, not like the Katherine he knew at all. His heart sped up, wanting to get rid of that look, and he turned around to face her, his curls falling in front of his eyes. She smiled softly, fingers brushing them away and Damon nuzzled his cheek into her hand, returning her smile. Damon's fingers hooked under her chin and he raised her head, before he kissed her as tender as he could.** _

_**He stroked her cheek, promise in his voice,"Forever isn't long enough, i'll still be loving you until we're no longer."** _

He ground his teeth together and, without realizing it, the bottle in his hand broke. His bourbon dripped from his hands, along with some blood. He hissed and dug the shreds of glass out of his skin, watching as the skin healed almost instantly. Elena gasped and went to grab his hand, forgetting that he could heal, but he shrugged her off. He fought the urge to snap her neck for daring to look like Katherine, she didn't deserve to look like his turner. Hurt covered her eyes, and he felt a little better, causing pain always did make him feel more calm. He ignored her and ordered another bottle, unscrewing the top again before he took a large sip.

"Damon. What is wrong with you?"

He replied,"Nothing. I'm fine, perfect, just damn peachy. Thanks for asking."

"You don't look it. Is it Katherine? I can understand how you feel about her. "

He let another dark laugh, jaw clenching as Elena tried to get something out of him. She could never understand, she'd barely lived, and now that she had found her one true 'love' in his brother, she thought that she knew what the four letter word meant. She would never understand what Damon felt, and he refused to waste his time with a lovesick teenager. To her, love was going to the movies and writing how wonderful it was in her diary. Elena could never understand how much love and devotion Damon held for Katherine, what lengths he would go to to prove that. He was sure that Stefan or Elena would do the things he did for Katherine, they would never wait 145 years to be reunited with their love. He was positive that Elena would never turn for his brother, she would never be with him if she knew his true colors, if she knew the things he had done.

"I'm fine, Elena. Go and mother someone else, I don't need it."

She opened her mouth to reply, but Damon cut her off by slamming the now empty bottle down on the bar. He couldn't be around her, not while she was a constant reminder of the girl he loved dearly. He then took out some cash, handed it to the bartender before he stood up and walked out of the bar. Elena watched him go, standing there by herself, and after a few moments of debating with herself, she made her choice. Elena trailed over to her friends, grabbed her things, said her goodbyes before she followed Damon out of the Grill. Caroline and Bonnie watched after her, confused before they went back to their conversation.

She found him outside, slowly walking towards his car, slightly stumbling. It wasn't just because he was drunk, she was convinced that he was driving himself mad. It was as if he was missing some part of him, and Elena knew that it was Katherine. She couldn't imagine how lost he felt without her, how long one hundred and forty five years must have been like without the girl he considered his soul mate. She heard him swear loudly once he dropped his keys onto the ground after digging them out of his pocket.

"Damon? Are you sure you're okay to drive?"

He rolled his eyes somewhat childishly,"I'm a vampire, Elena. Even if I do crash, i'll be fine, it'll be part of the fun."

She sighed and picked up his keys for him, passing them to the elder Salvatore. He took them out of her hands and unlocked his car. Opening the door, Damon entered his car and sat on what he thought was the drivers side, but it turned out that it was the passenger side. Elena rolled her eyes, reached in and grabbed his keys, shutting the door on her way. If anything happened to Damon, Stefan would go mad, she was sure of it. She opened the driver door and once she started it up, she pulled out onto the road and sped down it.

About three minutes later, a drunken slur broke the silence,"Katherine. A-All I want is her, why is everyone making it so damn hard?"

She looked out of the corner of her eye and saw Damon, now sitting up but he looked defeated. The alcohol was only making matters worse. She didn't answer him, just let him ramble on.

"Over a century and a half it's took me to get in that fucking tomb. Imagine that? Seems longer, you'd never understand."

Elena let out a long breath,"I can try. You can't suffer alone, Damon. It's not healthy."

Damon laughed drunkenly,"See, that's where she comes in. She makes it all go away, she stops the pain. She's the missing piece, the reason i'm here today, the only reason I want to carry on. You d-don't come close, you could never understand. Don't fool yourself into thinking that you could. You'd be in too deep."

After that, Damon fell into a silence as Elena sped down the road, mind processing his words. He reached underneath his passenger seat and pulled out a half empty bottle of bourbon then, after unscrewing the top, he began to drink it. He ignored the disapproving look Elena sent him, and began to toy with his daylight ring, frowning deeply when Katherine came into his mind again. He let out a long sigh and finished off the bottle just as she pulled into the drive way of the boarding house. She looked at him, he looked a bit more sober than he did earlier, which was confusing since he hadn't stopped drinking. She shrugged and put it on him being a vampire.

"Good."He started,"More alcohol."

"Damon...i don't think that's a good idea."

He stumbled out of the car,"Yeah? How do you plan to stop me?"

Elena, knowing that if she couldn't stop him from drinking, just stayed silent. Damon grinned at her smugly, trying to hide his real pain as he walked into the boarding house. Elena listened out for Stefan as she followed the elder Salvatore into the living room. Positive that Stefan wasn't there, she decided to stay, if she couldn't stop Damon drinking, she would try and make sure that he wouldn't do anything stupid. She sat down on the couch, taking in the smell of alcohol and something else she couldn't define. Damon poured himself a drink from his hidden collection and leaned against his bar, eyes trailing over to Elena who looked uncomfortable.

He motioned to the now clean and tidy front room,"Looks like Stefan's out digging a fresh grave."

"W-Why would he have to do that?"

"Don't ask questions you know the answer to, it's just stupid."

He finished off his drink before he poured himself another, silently hoping that she would just leave him alone, but knowing Elena Gilbert, that was a wish that would never come true. He contemplated just throwing her out but that meant dealing with his nagging brother for a few hours, and in Damon's drunken state, he refused to do anything that would mess up him getting in the tomb. He sighed and poured a second one, handing it over to the young teen, who looked hesitant.

"If you're gonna stay, you're gonna drink."

Elena took it from his hand then took a small sip, nose scrunching up when she tasted it. Damon mentally rolled his eyes and sat down across from her as she continued to sip at the drink, each one better than the last. He saw question flash in her eyes, and the more they sat in silence, the more frustrated he got.

"Spill it."

Elena's eyes met his,"What?"

"You're dying to ask something, so ask it while i'm half sure that I won't remember it."

She set her half finished glass down and carefully thought of her question, making sure that it didn't sound too cruel. A sober Damon was dangerous, she could only imagine what drunk Damon was like, especially if someone was questioning Katherine. Bored of waiting for what she had to say, Damon finished his glass and grabbed hers.

"How can you love her? She was seeing both of you a-"

Damon held up his hand,"You don't know what love is. She was  _using_  Stefan, Elena, as a blood bag."He chuckled and added,"Just I used Caroline. For blood and pleasure. Was I happy about them? No, course not. I wanted to tear him apart when I found out. He meant nothing to her..."

"But, Da-"

"Believe it or not, Stefan's feelings for her were real, she didn't compel him to feel that, no matter what he might tell you. She  **entertained**  his feelings for her, she didn't compel him unless she had to, I made her promise that. At the start, she  _did_  feel something for him, but the more time we spent together whenever he wasn't around, the closer we became. She and I didn't get together until later on because I backed off. After we got together, I offered to let her feed from me but she refused, so she had to go to Stefan, Elena. She didn't want to feed on me because she felt that it wasn't right, that I was more to her than that."

Damon swallowed emotionally and Elena kept quiet, knowing by the look on his face that he hadn't told anyone else what he was telling her. She eyed him as he gazed down at the ring on his finger and saw him smile a little before he met her eyes.

"Yes, Katherine could be very selfish but she was also protective and passionate. She wasn't ashamed for who she was, and went for what she wanted, no matter what stood in her way. She is more like me than anyone else is, she helped me accept my desires, to not be someone that I'm not. She taught me adventure, passion, she taught me how to love, and that is something that you'd never understand. You'd crumble if you knew what it was, it's not going on date night with you're friends, it's not remembering Stefan's birthday. It's fighting for them, accepting their flaws, it's loving each part of them until you can't see straight. It's drowning in them."

"That's hard to believe, from what Stefan told me about her, she was...evil."

Damon laughed darkly,pain lacing his voice as he spoke,"To you, him and the rest of the world maybe. I was the only one who knew her, that i'm sure of, I know her better than she knows herself. Love doesn't come easy to her. At first, she was...reluctant. She didn't want to love me and I didn't want to love her because I didn't want to hurt Stefan. But when you love someone, it's like nothing else matters. It took her a long time to admit it, because for a long while, her humanity was off."

"How does that explain it? If she gets out of the tomb,"Damon raised a daring eyebrow at her," _When_  she comes out of the tomb, how can you be sure she won't go after me or anyone else?"

"Of course she will, she'll be hungry. I killed someone last night, a few people actually if I remember correctly. We're vampires, Elena, it's what we do. People are nothing but food to us, they mean nothing to us. You think just because we feel love, that we're going to help old ladies cross the street. That's not who we are. I'd happily burn myself to ashes if it meant that she would smile at me, but that doesn't mean that I won't rip your heart out if I got bored."

Elena swallowed,"How can you say that?"

He raised his head and looked at her,"When you love someone as much as I love her and she loves me, nothing or nobody else matters."

Elena gasped, looking at him as if he had burned her. He flicked his wrist with a smirk, silently telling her that she had overstayed her welcome. She glared at him before standing up, crossing her arms over his chest.

"I thought we were friends."

Damon's head snapped up,"Then you're more dumber than I thought. You may have her face, but believe me, you're nothing compared to her.  _Nothing_."

Their eyes met in a stare, Damon daring her to protest, to challenge him. She looked at him for a few more seconds before storming off, slamming the door shut behind her. The mask fell from Damon's face when he heard her drive off, and he slumped back in his chair. Talking about the woman he couldn't have made him feel as if a stake were driving through his heart. Even after him spelling it out for her, she still couldn't understand. She thought that since he felt love, that he was like her and his brother. He growled and threw his glass into the burning fire, Katherine's voice in his ear.

_**Damon's lips brushed the shell of his lovers ear, making her gasp with pleasure,"Say it once more."** _

_**Katherine turned around in his embrace, his arms tightening around her, keeping her back pressed against his bare chest. His fingers toyed with the ends of her long hair, still disheveled from their love making. Her eyes, full of light, something nobody else got to see stared into his blue orbs. She moved so that she was sitting in his lap, the sheets falling away. Her naked body felt like heaven to him, and Damon's eyes fell shut when she pressed a tender kiss on his lips before pulling back.** _

" _ **As long as we have one another, Damon, nothing or nobody else matters. Not your father, your brother, nobody. I'm never going to leave you."**_

_**Katherine held out her hand and Damon's larger, warmer one soon covered it, a wide smiling playing at his lips.** _

_**The two leaned in, their lips a breath apart as Damon whispered,"...and i'll never leave you."** _

He snarled, suddenly back in reality, where it was dull and bare. He released a long breath, running a tired hand over his face. He considered going out and causing destruction, but that wouldn't end well, especially with the council already on his back. He was restless and his mind was spinning, several thoughts at one time. His hands shook by his sides, nails digging into the leather of the sofa. Then, all of a sudden, Damon shot up and kicked over the coffee table in front of him. He pushed over chairs, picked up the table and threw it at the wall. It fell to the floor with a smash, breaking in half while there was a large, deep hole in the wall. He screamed, shouted, cursed everything he could think of.

" _ **Damn it!"**_

He sped over to his liquor collection and with one sweep of his arm, all of the bottles and glasses were on the ground, smashed. The smell of them filled the air, and Damon fell next to them, body suddenly feeling heavy. He landed on glass and was soon damp because the drink, but he didn't care, he didn't even feel it. All he wanted was the feel of her again, the affects of missing and loving her hitting him like a ton of bricks. His hands clenched into tight fists and he lay there for a long while, mind telling him to get up and put on his mask but he couldn't, his body wouldn't work with him. Ten minutes passed and Damon forced himself to stand on wobbly legs, before he began to walk out of the room, again, leaving the mess for somebody else to clean up.

_Nothing or nobody matters..._

Damon pushed open the door of his bedroom, pulling off his clothes on the way. He needed to sleep, because whenever he did, he dreamed of her. His mind was settled when he was sleeping, he entered a world that only contained them both, the world he craved to be in. He fell onto his bed with a soft thumb, feeling the glass wounds on his back close almost instantly. His head hit the pillow, and he pulled the sheets over himself, staring at the ceiling with a blank look. Shutting his eyes, Damon prayed silently that slumber would take him soon, that his thoughts would just leave him alone. His hand crawled underneath his pillows and he pulled out a worn out page.

His fingers ran over the photograph of his turner somewhat affectionately and a smile appeared on his face, his eyes feeling heavy. He turned on his side, keeping a tight hold on it as he drifted away, holding the photo to him protectively.

" _There he is."_

_Damon's eyes opened slowly to the feel of soft fingers against his cheek. He looked up and saw Katherine laying next to him, a sweet but still mischievous smirk on her face, one he hadn't seen in a long while. She attempted to pull her hand away from his skin but he caught it, holding it against his chest. His other snaked around her waist and tugged her close to him. He buried his nose in her hair, inhaling her unforgettable lavender scent._

" _I missed you."_

_Katherine gazed up at him, eyes sparkling,"I know. I missed you, too. I thought you forgot about me."_

_He held her closer, as if he feared that she was going to disappear into thin air. He shook his head wildly, silently telling her that forgetting her would never happen, moaning when her lips brushed his jawline. He felt at peace for the first time since his last dream, he only felt that with her, whenever her arms were around him. Her fingers combed through his hair, easing the tension away from him. He dipped his head and caught her lips in a desperate, needy kiss. Katherine hummed into his mouth, lips parting. Breaking the kiss, he asked in child-like tone, unable to stop it._

" _Stay with me?"_

_Katherine kissed his forehead, clutching him to her,"Even if you don't know it, Damon, i'm always here."_

Outside Damon's bedroom window, looking in was the woman he was dreaming about, unshed tears in her eyes. She leaned against the window frame, the same dream playing in her own mind as she continued to invade Damon's head. Her fingers touched the glass, biting her lip to stop herself from letting the tears streak down her face. She took one last, lingering look at the elder Salvatore before she jumped down onto the ground. Katherine wiped her face, sniffing as she tried to remain strong, for him, for their future. It wouldn't be long now, but knew that for him, it felt like a lifetime. It wasn't their time yet, but that was beauty of eternity, they had the time.

"Don't worry, Damon. We'll be together soon, I promise."


End file.
